- I have been playing the same kind of gigs for so long
- I have been teaching at the same schools for years
- I never get called for something new
- I feel the days and weeks just fly by doing the same things over and over
- The monotony is killing me
- I’m not making progress
- I’ve hit a wall
- I am stuck in a loop
- I am feeling stuck
We all know the feeling of not being completely happy and fulfilled with your life. Things are not where and how you want them to be. You keep doing the same things day in and day out, perhaps slowly getting more and more frustrated for not living the life you want for yourself. We struggle with mastering our mindset which leaves us feeling stuck in our lives, careers, and relationships. Finding a way to move forward can feel like a struggle. We have big dreams, but we feel like something is holding us back.
If you feel this way, you are not alone.
Tony Robbins puts it this way: “If you are not growing, you are dying. Progress equals happiness.” That’s because reaching a goal is satisfying but only temporarily. Life is not about achieving the goals, life is about who you become in pursuit of those goals. That means that you have to progress, expand, move forward in some shape and form in order to feel fulfillment and happiness in life.
In this article, we’ll look into the reasons behind the phenomenon of feeling stuck and what we can do to move forward and live a more fulfilling life.
Common Reasons for Getting Stuck
Like everything else in life, it all starts with awareness. You can’t fix what you don’t know. There are many reasons why you may feel stuck in your life. The key is to be able to identify the reasons and then try to make some changes in order to learn how to get unstuck.
Here are some of the main contributors that can lead to feeling stuck.
Lack of “why”
Why are you accepting the gigs you do? Why do you teach? Why do you play with the orchestra/band? Why do you practice what you practice? You need to be able to explain to yourself why you do what you do and what drives you. If you don’t have concrete goals or dreams to work towards, it is easy to feel stuck, feeling that something is always missing.
You like your comfort zone
Status quo, or not changing anything, can feel safe. You might not like everything in your life, but your comfort zone outweighs the negative and so you accept your life situation. Yet the nagging feeling of something not being right persists.
Fear of failure and the unknown
Fear is a strong motivator of not taking the leap and has the ability to keep you stuck by controlling your mindset. Fear of failure in a new setting and fear of the unknown can both trigger a preference of the status quo comfort zone.
People around you
If the people around you (friends, family, and colleagues) are also stuck it can be difficult to get motivated to make progress. The opposite is also true. If you were to surround yourself with inspiring people such as mentors or peers, it will be easier to find a way out of feeling stuck.
A lack of support or help from the people around you can also lead to feeling stuck as everything is up to you and there is only so much you can do. Again, finding people who have achieved goals similar to yours, will have a good influence and motivate you to start getting unstuck.
Comparisons to others
Comparing yourself to someone you look up to can be a motivation, but more often than not it can have a detrimental effect on your feeling of self-worth. It is important to realize that everyone is on their own journey, including you. It could also lead to feeling stuck due to seeing what someone is doing, comparing it to your life situation without realizing that you might not actually want that experience anyway. For example, you see someone is posting on social media how much fun they are having on tour. This triggers feelings of being stuck. What you are not realizing is that you would never have gone on that tour in the first place, you don’t like touring, you get bus sick, you don’t want to be away from your family for a prolonged time, and so on.
Quick Fix
Oftentimes we perceive our problems larger than what they actually are. This "Quick Fix" section is meant to nudge you in the right direction. However, if you feel that your issues are more than you can handle on your own, do not hesitate to reach out and I will be your cheerleader and we will go through this together.
What is keeping you down?
When you start saying “I’m stuck,” it’s time to start a full evaluation of your situation to try and better understand what the source of that feeling is. Start by writing down a list of things that make you feel stuck. It can be anything, small or big, then dig deeper. For example, if you write that you are feeling unhappy, ask yourself why. The goal here is to see on paper where your thoughts are and make you aware of what is causing you to feel unhappy and stuck in a loop. We all have to face adversity at some point in our lives but how you handle that struggle is key in managing your emotions, temperament, and the overall outcome. Instead of searching for an alternate path forward we often repeat the same thoughts and reaction patterns that initially led us to the feeling of being stuck. Knowing the why and working to understand the internal foundation for this feeling of being stuck will empower you to make the changes necessary to get out of it and begin your climb towards a more productive self.
Create a plan
Create a plan based on the root causes of your negative feelings. This plan should be specific and broken down into smaller achievable goals.
For example:
Specific goal: “I want to be able to double on guitar in my cover band.”
Smaller goals: 1. Get a guitar (borrow or buy)
2. Learn the three easiest songs on the setlist
3. Bring the guitar to rehearsal
4. Play the three songs on the gig
5. Add more songs to your repertoire
This makes the specific goal more attainable and progress easier to measure. This will help you stay focused and motivated instead of triggering fear of the unknown and not taking the leap.
Spend more time with the people you love
Almost everybody has a small circle of people that they trust and love, whether that’s a partner, family or friend. These people have a positive influence on your happiness. When you’re feeling stuck in a rut you are more likely to isolate yourself. Break the pattern by actively choosing to spend time with the people who actually have a positive influence on your happiness.
Reconnect with your purpose and passion
What made you want to be in the music industry in the first place? What drives you to practice every day? What are your dreams and ambitions? What do you want to spend your time doing? What excites you? If you are feeling stuck, you are probably not connected to what you feel is your purpose. And you are most likely not passionate about what you are spending most of your time doing.
Is there something else you enjoy doing? Think about what interests you that you might have put to the side for some reason. It could be photography, running, cooking, or dancing. Set aside a little time to take up your interests again. This will lead to wanting to do more of it without the feeling of it being an obligation. Ten minutes of taking pictures in your backyard will spark elements of joy and inspiration that will make you feel less stuck.
Ask for help
Remember that you don’t have to do it all alone. If you feel stuck in your personal life, you can speak to a family member, friend, or coach and find a solution together. By talking to someone you will realize that you are not alone in having feelings of being stuck. It will ease your burden and the suggestions above can be done together.
Time
You need to allow this process to take time. The negative feelings and thought patterns that you’re experiencing right now are a result of many factors that might have been going on for years. These habits don’t necessarily want to change easily and That’s OK. You are rebuilding a stronger foundation for a more fulfilling and joyful life. From time to time you might run out of motivation to move forward. Take it one step at a time and follow your plan carefully. Remember that the feeling of being stuck is something that we all experience. You are not alone and there is help all around you. Knowing this you are well on your way to breaking out of the loop of feeling stuck and unable to move forward in your life.
Need more than a quick fix?
There are many reasons why we can feel stuck in life. However, know that it is possible to get past them. It all starts with awareness of your mind, your thoughts and acceptance of wanting to get out of your current situation.
Realize that getting unstuck is going to require more than changing your physical life. Changing your job, relationship, or address is not going to help if you don’t change your mindset. Your reality is derived from your perception, therefore reality in itself is not that important but how you see reality is. Being able to control how you look at things is the key to getting unstuck and breaking free. Shaping your perception is so powerful that just a small change in perspective can completely change everything. All limitations start from your mind which means that if you learn how to take control of the way you view your limitations, you can push your way out of your current situation and become a better version of you.
There is no need to let fear, society, and your inner voice hold you back. You have all the power you need within yourself to follow your dreams and achieve your goals. I will work together with you to find out where you have set your limitations and where they come from. Together we will map out your thought patterns and find effective solutions on how to reshape them to your benefit.